Showing posts with label Vices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vices. Show all posts

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Weekend Meditations

  • Too many margaritas affect my balance negatively
  • I look pretty hot with a purple eye
  • My knee, although bruised in all new ways, is freaking tough
  • Letting your friends pick their ringtones is a great idea
  • Picking your own ringtones while intoxicated is a bad idea
  • Shots are expensive
  • Missing bras are often found under seat cushions at the least opportune time

Tell all your single friends, older, certainly no wiser.

XO, JamieSmitten

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Boy, Are YOU Behind!

Despite my lack of posting which might have made you think nothing was going on, something has been going on. Something has definitely been going on.

Here are some things you have missed in no particular order which may or may not get more detail in future posts:

  • New couch is in the living room! Long live the 35 year old predecessor -- which has already been cannibalized in the alley.
  • I wii-ed for the first time! I'm aces at trivia and fairly sucky at obstacle courses while riding a yak.
  • I SAW MORRISSEY. You'll hear more about that. And the fact that he -- JUST LIKE ME -- has to keep pulling up his jeans because he's a no ass having hottie.
  • Boom's knee is a little better. Trying to hop on the new couch isn't helping.
  • I've been sucked back into several reality shows and yes, I hate myself.
  • I learned that KYA Boot Camp wall squats are the BEST preparation a girl can have for balancing in nasty portajohns.
  • I learned the previous lesson because I never learn that Church Hill Irish Festival Guinness and Harp drinking requires pacing and a large bladder.
  • I've had sex 3 days in a row. You'll definitely hear more about that.

On that note, I'm going upstairs to extend this unprecedented string of damn fine cardio.

Tell all your single friends, Sex is just as fabulous as Smitten remembered!

XO, JamieSmitten

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Step 1

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable


I've already consumed TWO and Easter is still two months away. Cadbury should sponsor a 12 step recovery program. I can't be the only one who needs help.


Tell all your single friends, only 5 mg of cholesterol in each creamy oeuf!



XO, JamieSmitten

Monday, August 18, 2008

Louche

MEANING: adjective: Of questionable character; dubious; disreputable.

ETYMOLOGY: From French louche (cross-eyed), from Latin lusca, feminine of luscus (one-eyed).

Oh. Dear. I think it is not coincidence that the A.Word.A.Day in the mailbox this morning pertains to disreputable. I was certainly cross-eyed from the heavenly Legend pale ale when I opened the laptop last night.

I stand behind my statements, forward as they may have been.

Now I'm off to puke my guts up running around a field whilst someone I pay tells me to run faster.

Tell all your single friends, louche, soooooooo louche.


XO, JamieSmitten

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Just To Be Clear

I'm completely toasted.

Drunk.

Obliterated.

And madly in love with unobtainable men.

You know who you are.

Tell all your single friends, Smitten DOES do that thing with her tongue.

XO, JamieSmitten


p.s. Major props to DFF (Determined Friend Forever) Anne for facilitating this AWESOME buzz.

p.p.s. Fweng -- geography has screwed you out of some major lovin' tonight. But I'll be thinking about you.....

Friday, June 27, 2008

The Only Man That Could Steal Me Away From Dr. House




Tell all your single friends, he's what I want for Christmas (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).



XO, JamieSmitten

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Hey! That Tickles!

I just checked my bank account and found my Economic Stimulus direct deposit was made on 5/2.

I guess that means I got two types of stimulation on Friday night! (Ba-dum-bum!)

Tell all your single friends, in rugby, #6 is the blindside flanker.



XO, JamieSmitten


Saturday, May 03, 2008

Oh No She Didn't!


Oh yes she did.*


Tell all your single friends, it IS like riding a bike.



XO, JamieSmitten



*And he looked a little bit like Jason Statham. Tasty.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Tasty!

Salt and Vinegar potato chips with sour cherry gels. Texture isn't great, but it's an interesting flavor combination.


And no, I haven't been drinking.



Yet.



Now what wine will pair well with..........





Tell all your single friends, I'm not eating junk food, I'm creating a flavor sensation.




XO, JamieSmitten

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Oh My God I Feel Good

Now I remember why I enjoyed smoking pot.

All of a sudden I can feel the curve between my big toe and my second toe and it throbs with life. It is positively orgasmic. I've missed that feeling.

I'm a little drunk too, so let's not give all the credit to the herb.

Tell all your single friends, you DO want to go the van between sets.

XO, JamieSmitten

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Meet My Nemesis


Only 3 more months of availability, thank goodness!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Must be the full-ish moon

Many, many years ago, I read a book by Fay Weldon and was captivated by one paragraph. I remember fumbling around late at night by the weak light of the bedside lamp for a scrap of paper upon which to record the words. I knew I would want to read them again.

The scrap of paper ended up being the back of an envelope -- deep red, maybe a Valentine? -- and I wrote straight across the flap. A little less glue and I'd have half a profound thought. (Not the first time.) The paper was folded and tucked in my address book where it has remained to this day. I read it now and again. It still gives me pause that one writer's words can strike a reader like lightning, true and to the core. I want to write like that. I want to make someone stop, go back, read again, and feel a connection.

I pulled that scrap of paper out tonight on purpose. Because words can close the distance between writer and reader. Words can.

"...Erotic consciousness. Reader, what is etched in yours? What collar-bone, what little patch of textured skin, what dangling pendant? Think! Remember! Keep back the glacier of age by the sheer warmth, the sheer force of sexual recollections, wild imaginings! It can be done: it is worth the doing."

I'm amazed at the prescience that made me respond to those words. At the time, the glacier of age wasn't even visible on the horizon. Maybe I knew that many of my years would be spent remembering, rather than doing. Or maybe I was just glad to be in the midst of making those memories hand over breast.

I'm ready to make more.

Note: I think this quote was from The Shrapnel Academy, but really, you can't go wrong with any Fay Weldon.


Tell all your single friends -- books can amaze.


XO, JamieSmitten