Jamie: Hey Universe? I'm just going to put it out there. If you won't give me a vermin-free house despite my best efforts to dispatch them quickly and painlessly, I'll just move to Paris and live a wonderful life not unlike the film Avenue Montaigne.
Universe: Hey Jamie? Uh no. Doesn't work that way. But I'll throw you a bone so you don't give up hope completely.
Jamie: Boom! Oh my God! The green light is flashing! WE FRIED MICKEY!
And there was rejoicing in Carytown.
Tell all your single friends, I emptied the trap all by myself.
XO, Jamiesmitten
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