- Too many margaritas affect my balance negatively
- I look pretty hot with a purple eye
- My knee, although bruised in all new ways, is freaking tough
- Letting your friends pick their ringtones is a great idea
- Picking your own ringtones while intoxicated is a bad idea
- Shots are expensive
- Missing bras are often found under seat cushions at the least opportune time
Tell all your single friends, older, certainly no wiser.