You Are What You Read

Packing. Ugh. I'm only at the list stage, but I do know where the suitcase is, so I'm on schedule.

However I've hit a bump in the list -- what book do I take with me?

Now I'd rather read than do most anything, so I'm not lacking for options. The stack next to the bed is at least 6 deep. And vacation reading is a family tradition. Many vacations found me, my sister, my mum and my dad at a resort, reading in companionable silence. (Possibly, we enjoyed the silence as much as the reading since the car ride to the resort had probably contained a few episodes of "this road isn't on the map," "we'll get there when we get there," and the old standby "she's on MY SIDE."

But selecting the right travel book involves a lot of factors:

• It should be long enough to last through both there and back flights. If you take a book that is too short or too good, you'll finish it and end up purchasing some crap novel at the airport or paying retail for a hardcover.
• It shouldn't be too big and bulky. I've traveled with a 500 page hardback novel because I'd made the mistake of starting it and couldn't leave it behind. My carry-on already weighs the equivalent of a well-nourished baby, so extra weight is a bad idea.
• It shouldn't be an untried author. Nothing worse than settling in for a 5 hour plane ride with a book that turns out to be dreadful. Although I have found that I can read dreadful if it wards off the spinster knitter on her way to see her niece sitting next to me. Or worse still, the drunken romeo. No, sir, I don't care if you have magic hands, I decline your offer of putting my head down on the seat back tray in front of me so you can give me a sample massage so I'll know what I'm missing. (That really happened to me on a flight to Florida. Fortunately, he nodded off into a drunken stupor 30 minutes into the flight, saving him from a mass clubbing administered by the flight attendants.)
• It shouldn't be the novel of the moment. I never did read the Da Vinci Code, but you couldn't have paid me to carry that conversation starter into close quarters. Ditto for anything by that Tollhouse cookie guy that Oprah keeps pushing down our throats.

Which leads me to the top contenders on my shelf:

• Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Sex and Science by Mary Roach. Oh my word, I love this woman. I borrowed Stiff: The Curious Life of Cadavers from my sister and loved it. I missed Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife, but plan to rectify that oversight immediately. Pros: know I will love it; long chapters work well for airport sitting. Cons: Already started, so might not last whole trip; hardcover; white dust jacket will look horrible when I get home.
• Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk. Purchased on impulse to get free shipping on my order. Pros: interesting subject matter; should keep the old ladies from monopolizing my time (after I summarize my reading material for them). Cons: haven't read CP in years, might not enjoy it; could attract the porn element.
• Porno by Irvine Welsh. Before you start to sense a theme in my reading material, I bought this ages ago along with Trainspotting. Pros: enjoyed Trainspotting and this is partly a continuation; again, title should keep the old ladies at bay. Cons: dense Scottish dialect writing can be slow going at times; story of drug addicts doesn't scream Vacation Fun!

If only I hadn't just read Round Ireland with a Fridge by Tony Hawks. Perfect travel book about a place I'd love to visit filled with real life. Hold on -- apparently Tony wrote a book about living in France -- A Piano in the Pyrenees! Off to the bookstore tomorrow!!

Tell all your single friends, book choice is key.

XO, JamieSmitten