Where I'm Going

Hauppauge, New York.


In 4 days.


Not. Soon. Enough.



Tell all your single friends, the last 4 days are the hardest!!!!!


XO, JamieSmitten

Where I've Been

visited 42 states (84%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

I will admit that Vermont, and Hawaii were just pass through on the way to somewhere else. Can't recall if Iowa was a pass through, but if it was, I must have blinked. I have spent at least a few hours in the rest of them. And TOTALLY missed my chance to do Idaho like a native -- right, Val?


visited 7 countries (3.11%)
Create your own visited map of The World

That is a DISMAL percentage. I'm definitely going to add at least one more country in 2010!

Tell all your single friends, where have YOU been?



XO, JamieSmitten

No, I Don't Think It Is Ash Wednesday

(or How I Got the Forehead Contusion)

The plan was to leave for New York at 10 a.m. "If you want to see Coney Island, we need to beat the traffic."

"O.K. Then I need to get up at 6:30 to get stuff done."

"That is way too early. You can get up at 7:30 and it will be fine."

I got up at 7:30 and we departed the house at 10:20. With one stop to make at the post office. I hopped out of the car and left the car running because someone was cold and needed the heat on while he listened to the radio and read his book. Someone turned off the car, but left the heat and radio on -- and unbeknownst to someone -- the lights were also on.

"Who the hell drives with the lights on during the day?"

"I do."

"Well that's stupid."

"So's your face." [This is a standard rejoinder in the household indicating a lack of agreement and a request to move on to the next potential topic for disagreement.]

So after standing in a line to mail a package (hope you like it!) I came outside and happily tried to start my car to head off on vacation. Car doesn't start.

More leaving the lights on is stupid, more well if you don't know how to pop a clutch without me explaining it then I can't explain it, and finally the bright idea to get a jump start. The startled woman next to us agrees to move her minivan around and provide the juice.

I hop out of the car to pop the hood. Done, I return to the driver seat and await cable connection. Then I remember that the last time someone ran down my battery, he had a hard time locating the battery as it was under an relatively unmarked cover. So I hop back out of the car -- and yes, I was fully impatient, annoyed, and foul-tempered -- and leaned over to pull the cover off and conked my forehead HARD on the raised hood.

I staggered back to the car mumbling, "fuck it. Someone can find it himself." He did and we were on our way -- finally, at 10:48.

So I drive for a 1/2 hour. Then I turn around and go back to the house to get someone's ID. I ask for aspirin from the kitchen because I have a headache. Not enough coffee, I assume, vowing to get a large cup at the first stop.

First stop is 3 hours later. Aspirin has not touched the headache which has become a dull throb. Amazingly, I still think it is caffeine withdrawal. We enter the rest stop, I use the facilities, and inspect my eye makeup while I wash my hands. We get in line, buy burgers (Roy Rogers still has Double R Bar burgers! Who knew? They aren't as good as I remember, but then, life is like that.) We get up and I go to Starbucks to get my coffee. Line is too long, so I make the ultimate sacrifice and order a coffee from the urn at Cinnabon. While I wait for my coffee to be poured (a 3 minute span of time, oddly), I turn to someone and say, "Do I have something on my forehead. It kind of hurts here." I point to just right of center on my forehead.

My eyes get bigger. Someone's eyes get bigger. And I feel a knot the size of a walnut on my forehead.

"How the hell didn't you see this in the past 3 hours?"

"I wasn't looking right at you."

"I'm pretty sure a bump this big has a profile."

"Holy shit it is getting bigger. Stop making me laugh."

By the time we get to the car we are laughing hysterically -- someone from the speed at which the knot is growing and me from the leaking brain fluid from the skull I now realized is cracked -- the walnut is bigger. I'm advised to put ice on it.

"How would you like me to do that and drive?"

"I'm not sure, baby. Want me to drive?"

"No. I already have a headache. Give me one of the ice cubes from your drink."

I then proceed to give myself an ice cream headache on TOP of the cracked cranium headache for the next 20 minutes. I become adept at ice cube balancing and refuse the offer of a ski cap to hold the cube in place.

"Bad enough I'm going to meet your friends with a third eye, let's not add hat hair."

Someone (after another bout of hysterical laughing), "it hardly shows, baby. You are beautiful."

We did not beat rush hour. My knot did show, but didn't start to turn purple until we got home, 3 days later.

And no, co-workers, I don't think it is Ash Wednesday and that isn't a smudge on my forehead. It's a souvenir.


Tell all your single friends, the best pizza EVER had eggplant parmesan slices on it and was at Danny's in Central Islip, NY.


XO, JamieSmitten

Coney Island! Best Pizza Ever! Forehead Contusion!

More on that later! Enjoy the pix for now:


Shut down for the season, eh? Well I'll be back!

Notice he didn't mention October.

Yes, I ate a Nathan's hot dog and it was GOOD! Tasted great on top of that bistec a la parilla. And Jamaican meat patty. And Roy Rogers Double R Bar Burger. [Note: All consumed AFTER forehead contusion received. Hmmmmmm]

Need more clothes. COLD!

Anyone have a clue as to what Mozzarepa could be? Me neither -- until I googled it.

Sadly, the live human targets were gone for the season.

Tell all your single friends, New York is the most fun (if you can afford the tolls to get there),


XO, JamieSmitten

Has It Really Been Almost a Month?

Since I blogged? Such a slacker. But it isn't like I've been sitting around. In fact, I have hardly been home for a weekend between the last post and now.

First came the trip to Smith Mountain Lake. Huge. No signs indicating which way to the specific dock where your family and dogs are waiting with the beer. So my advice is to just keep tucking that pontoon boat into each cove and hope for the best.... Watch out for the clowns.

Then, it was off to Ontario for a family wedding. Thankfully, the passport arrived and the flight was not canceled/delayed/overly turbulent. Of course, I DID get pulled for "special screening" at security. I knew having all of my liquids in the correct size bottles in a quart size bag ready for display was not enough juju to ward off the universe's need to have me groped impersonally by a stranger in the name of national security. This time, I was given the option of the grope or the full body scan. I think I shocked the guard when I opted for the scan. The scan was implemented at the Richmond airport right after my last hellish flight in November and caused a bit of an uproar. Namely because the scan shows it all. Right under your clothes. Just like those glasses they used to advertise in the back of comic books -- only it really works. The lucky man who got to see beneath my travel ensemble to the real me was hidden away in a room, but I'm sure he enjoyed it. The wedding was lovely if a bit emotional (for me, anyway). I did NOT ride with the piper, nor did I show mum how to focus my camera apparently. The weather was unseasonably cool, but I still went swimming in the lake because I'm no quitter. I finished my book 10 minutes before I landed back in Richmond, so good timing all around.


For the Labor Day weekend, we finally used the tent we bought early in the summer and went camping on the James river down in southeast Virginia. The tent turned out to be the bargain of the century. We thought it looked like a lot of tent for the money, but had no idea that our voices would echo inside. Sadly, I never even took a picture of it set up. But it would have been hard without a panoramic camera anyway. Eating, drinking, laughing, fishing, frying, kayaking -- with Boom!, swimming, marshmallow roasting, staring into the bonfire. We were even treated to a bonus fireworks display across the river. Lovely, perfect weekend. Especially the Nathan's hotdog grilled on the fire with approximately 1/3 of a bottle of relish. YUM. Makes me wish summer was just starting, instead of ending. I guess I should focus on getting as much kayak time in as I can before it gets cold. Because I'm that sporty.


Tell all your single friends, time flies when you don't stay home.*


XO, JamieSmitten

*It freaking CRAWLS when you are waiting for the love of your life to come home. BOO!

I Heart NYC -- Take 2!

We spent less than 24 hours in NYC thanks to traffic and having too much fun in Connecticut!

However we managed to pack a LOT in:

1. A hotel room ON THE PENTHOUSE LEVEL. Yep. I had a balcony in NYC.
   Sure, it was small, but I had a close-up view of the Empire State building.
   
   
   


2. Two cab rides. Sadly, not the Cash Cab as I had hoped. The cabs have touchscreens that let you map your journey. And commercials. They did swerve around as expected, so that was nice.


3. A jaunt in the rain through Chinatown. Super crowded streets and near-miss eye gouging by umbrellas. AND -- I was propositioned by one of those "come into my back room and buy a purse" people. Ha. Like I'd go shopping when I could be sightseeing.


4. Dim Sum with approximately 372 people. Amazing food and total chaos as new patrons are directed in to their table by flight attendants with head phones. I decided to go with the spirit of the experience and not look too closely at the fillings. I'm fairly certain I managed to avoid chicken, but I definitely consumed all other meats. YUM.


5. A diner meal at midnight. My bagel was not anything special, but the chocolate malted was aces. There was a cashier who looked to be at least 92 and the waiter kept touching us. Completely surreal.

Tell all your single friends, every NYC trip makes you love it more!!

XO, Jamiesmitten

Kanab Day 2: Happy Birthday to Me!

What could possibly get me to set an alarm and get up at 7 a.m. on my birthday?

PUPPY SOCIALIZATION CLASS!

I KNOW!

So my birthday morning dawned bright and warm. Pretty darn warm. Kanab is high desert climate, so nights are cold, but days are sunny and bright. Really bright. This is what the sky looked like every day:

After modeling my fabulous angora scarf lovingly created by Wombat and then scarfing (Ha!) down coffee and doughnut from the lobby, we drove straight to the Dog Town Clinic for puppy socialization class. We were early (still planning for traffic!) and got to see a charming dog earn a lot of treats for being so darn sweet when asking for them:

The soft touch with the treat pouch was our puppy socialization leader Don. He led about ten of us volunteers back to the puppy area after explaining the puppy socialization program. Often, adopted puppies are returned just for being puppies -- curious, unpredictable, and wild. The primary goal of puppy socialization class is to accustom the puppies to being touched, handled, and surrounded by humans. Desensitization to people and their surroundings (umbrellas, loud noises, sudden movements) makes for a well-adjusted pet. Since Best Friends instituted the program, only one puppy has been returned by an adopter.

Suddenly, puppies are being handed out the door and I get to carry one up to the play area. There were four puppies -- survivors of parvo -- named Potter, Berks, Bedford, and Erie. We worked on name recognition, leash walking, and touching. The puppies were clearly precocious veterans of the class at 18 weeks and enjoyed all the attention. I was too busy hugging, but Wombat came through with some great pictures. There just can't be enough puppy love for me:


Don't tell Boom, but there was kissing.


After puppies, we were sent to another set of dog octagons for more walking and socializing. The different puppies were just as lovely as those from the first day. Including Chance who had one up and one down ear, making for a spectacular shadow:

Thoroughly blissed out on puppies and dogs by noon break, we headed over for our second round of $4 vegetarian buffet delight. I believe this was yummy vegetarian pot pie day. We had some time to kill before we visited the horrifying scary bunny sanctuary, so we drove back over to the welcome center to shop at the Best Friends store. Despite a marked lack of magnets and pins (hint to marketing dept!), we managed to drop some coin. These bumper stickers make GREAT gifts:

Then it was back to the bunny haven for the 1 p.m. tour. Except we had our time wrong and the tour wasn't until 2. As fate would have it, Wombat looked sad enough that the caretaker took pity on her and gave us a private tour of the area. Way many rabbits and some freaky looking hamsters too. Or maybe guinea pigs. Honestly, I didn't look too closely. My goal was to get out alive. They actually put us in a big enclosure with loose rabbits. I KNOW! So not right. Despite the sign saying "Warning! Rosemary will bite!" and the caretaker admitting that the rabbits go totally homicidal if you have more than 2 in a pen, Wombat was happy as a clam. She took some excellent pictures of the little death-dealers furry critters:

Having survived THAT ordeal, we left Best Friends and headed out for some sightseeing. The Kane County tourist guide had mentioned a few must see attractions and we found the first one on the road between Best Friends and Kanab. Moqui Cave is one of those roadside attractions that you always want to stop at as a kid, but your parents keep driving. A cave built into a mountain right off the highway? Count me in! The current proprietor is the grandson of the man who bought the cave in the 1950s and turned it first into a bar and then a dancehall. The place was quite successful for many years, but after the bar fights became a regular occurrence, the cave was converted into a tourist attraction.

So how do you get people to pay $4 to see a hole in the wall? GLOW IN THE DARK ROCKS! Yep, that's the clincher. The front part of the cave is a mini museum where the bar used to be. The back part of the cave was cool and sloped downward a bit. As we got further in, the eerie glow of black lights bathed us in an unholy light. Us and a bazillion rocks. I'm scanning a postcard image because it was just too darn odd. Apparently, some rocks light up when you hit them with black light. Kids, I'm pretty sure you can try that at home. Let me know how it works out for you.

On to the gift shop where we bought lots of postcards to commemorate the weirdness of the attraction and found the perfect souvenirs in a sale bowl at the checkout. Now I'm not sure how many of you are aware that Utah is the Beehive state. Wombat wasn't aware, which I discovered as I commented on how much I liked the state highway signs with the beehives.

Wombat said, "Oh, I thought that was a ski cap." Which, without knowing the Beehive state tie-in, was a pretty good guess. So she bought me a beehive charm and I bought her a cow bell charm. Because she likes cows and because I had just received the last beehive charm. Thanks, Wombat!

Having seen all that Moqui Cave had to offer, we headed north again to take a look at the Coral Pink Sand Dunes. A bumpy trip along a road through nowhere and one left turn later, the canyon opened up and we saw several ATV caravans heading towards some pink-ish hills. We found a place to park the car and hiked straight up a sandy dune to see more sandy dunes.

I'm not sure I would call them coral pink, seemed more like brownish tan to me. But darn pretty, all those ripples.

Perfect for some artistic photography. Beware the three-legged tourist!:

The plants were very nice too.

I don't know what kind they are, so don't ask. I DO know that if you want to see the Tiger Beetle, a species found ONLY at Pink Coral Sand Dunes state park, you have to look for their tracks at a specific time of the year:

And don't bother naming your band The Interdunal Swales either. Wombat and I have dibs on that most excellent name.

Despite a fetching ranger with no wedding ring, we decided to return to civilization and prepare for our fancy dinner. A few cows slowed our momentum and got the paparazzi treatment. They didn't seem too concerned.

After a shower and a fresh set of non-doggified clothes, we drove the 1/4 mile from motel to our dining destination, the Rocking V Cafe. If you happen to pass through Kanab when the Rocking V is open, I highly recommend it. Excellent food, charming host, and an art gallery upstairs. We encountered some other Best Friends volunteers (clearly, we all have good taste) and immediately set to determining which drink would suit us best.

Speaking of drinking, we had no problems getting drinks in the restaurants we visited and we did see the liquor store. However, there were no bars. There was a "lounge" in the little town of Fredonia just south of Kanab, but it didn't look promising.

Margaritas! Was that even up for discussion? Although I did move on to beer for my next trick. Have to try those local brews when you can. Dinner was lovely. I had the spicy polenta cakes and Wombat went with the deep dish veggie enchilada. Filling and flavorful. But always room for whiskey bread pudding, eh? Yum.

Having managed to outlast the other patrons (this town goes to bed early, even on a Saturday night), we took a tour of the art gallery upstairs and I managed to impulse shop my way into a lovely picture -- a digitally enhanced photo called "Time Stands Still" -- by Chris Brock. It seemed an appropriate purchase on my birthday and I would have resisted had it not been revealed that the picture was taken in Ireland. (For those of you not in my immediate vicinity, Ireland is my 2009 trip!). So, with all credit and copyright to Chris Brock, the soon to be appearing on my living room wall:

We headed back to the motel and stayed up late talking and figuring out how the world should be and then went to bed. Wombat will say that I fell asleep while she was talking. This is not true. I was resting my eyes while contemplating her deep, deep conversation.

It is like somebody designed my perfect day. [Well, my perfect day without sex.]

Tell all your single friends, spend YOUR birthday in a special place!

XO, JamieSmitten

Kanab, Utah! The Greatest Earth on Show!

No, I'm not that punny -- Kanab is:

If you ever go to Kanab, stay at Quail Park Lodge. From our frazzled 10 p.m. arrival when we couldn't get the key to open the door (solution: turn it) to the friendly chat in the morning when I retrieved coffee and doughnuts from the office, our stay was great. Big fluffy comforters, super fancy robes, and the ability to have pet sleepovers from Best Friends (if you don't stay in our deluxe-newly-renovated-suite). Loved it. I totally forgot to take a picture, but it was as cute as the website looks.

We slept like logs Thursday night -- hardly surprising -- but managed to get up when the evil alarm went off because PUPPIES WERE WAITING! We had to be at Best Friends at 8:30 a.m. for the video before the tour before the volunteering and there was no way I was going to be late. So I allowed for traffic. In the 7 miles between our motel and the turn-off from route 89. We passed one car. Score one for the small town.

Of course it was a good thing we had time because I could hardly drive for looking at the breathtaking -- and I don't bandy that word around, people -- scenery that we had totally missed during our night time arrival. Judge for yourself:

I KNOW. Flipping MAJESTIC. And I usually only say that about HRH Queen Elizabeth. We were still oohing and aahing three days later as we left that beautiful place. I've been out west before and I've even been camping in Zion National Park (about 40 miles away), but Kanab is just smack in the middle of major rock loveliness. Go ahead, have another:

But we weren't there for scenery, we were there for the animals. And boy, did they deliver. For those of you who are link-phobic and have thus avoided all the chances to go read the Best Friends website instead of my random thoughts, Best Friends Animal Society is a place unlike any other. Twenty-four years ago, some animal-loving friends bought land in Angel Canyon and formed an animal sanctuary from which no animal would ever be turned away. Kindness to animals builds a better world for all of us. Believe it. From their No More Homeless Pets campaign to disaster animal rescue to education and support, they help rescue groups and animals all over the world. Good stuff.

We began with a guided tour of the sanctuary. Large vans with bench seats. Wombat and I grabbed the way, way back, because we were in fact the coolest kids on the bus. The ladies in front of us were from Virginia, of course. We are everywhere. The ride was really bumpy but most excellent for pointing out interesting scenery and the inner workings of the various different animal areas. First animal stop with touching was the home for cats with feline leukemia. The house itself is part cat fantasy land and part tribute to a longtime donor whose husband built the house after his wife died without fulfilling her dream to live near Best Friends and volunteer with the cats every day. The cats were enjoying the sunshine and the love and attention from their personal caregiver. Wombat caught me petting one little sweetie. Don't tell Boom:

We drove past Feathered Friends -- thank goodness, no need to see any birds, thank you very much -- and past the wild turkeys that were mooching scattered feed around the buildings. Then we head to Dogtown Heights and got to see how they manage to keep so many dogs healthy and happy. All the dogs had indoor rooms with beds and blankets and then full outdoor play areas that were almost as big as my backyard. Some dogs had buddies, others were on their own. All of them were eager to see who had pulled up in the van. The dog caregivers were by and large a truly friendly and happy group of people who were quick to share stories about their animals charges. We couldn't wait to get started volunteering!

Back to the front desk for paperwork and name tags and then off to the cafeteria for a splendid $4 vegetarian buffet. Yum. A little windy that first day, but a view to die for:

Full of healthy vegetables, grains, and fruit, Wombat and I headed over to the Clinic for our next volunteer orientation. We watched a short film about dog handling (don't hug the dogs? we'll see about that) and a possible sighting of John Garcia, hottie animal trainer from the National Geographic show Dogtown, and we were sent off with a map to our first destination: The Fairway.

Each Dogtown Heights area has two octagons of dogs, two caregivers, and about 40-45 dogs. I don't know if they lost a lot of volunteers in the past, but when they send you out dogwalking now, you are pointed to the path for your building. The paths are red sandy and outlined in rocks and meander up and down and around, with a bench in the middle for a water break and a cuddle. We broke the no-hug rule with the first set of dogs. I also discovered that these dogs have not developed Boom's patience with extended picture-taking, so I got a lot of backs of heads. Still cute:

Some of the dogs walked beautifully on their leashes. Others were a little more stubborn. One particular hound dog named Yankee was in a class all by himself. While we were walking the path, a large mule deer buck (is that redundant?) crashed through the brush several yards away. Yankee sat down and howled, clearly heeding his ancestry. He would not move for love, money, or treats. He didn't even drag. So Wombat carried him back to his room. I wish I had taken a picture, because it was a sight: Yankee's sense of outrage and Wombat's determination to get that dog home. Wombat did get a picture of him doing his best sit and howl:

More dogs, more cuddling. It was so relaxing and so wonderful and so clearly, how life was meant to be. I quickly fell in love with Dozer. Rescued from a pitbull breeding operation, Dozer had clearly been abused. Now, he just wants to lie next to you and get all the petting he can. I hope a special somebody takes him home soon:

Wombat was busy falling in love with Ripple, a young chesapeake bay retriever with a dislocated hip. Ripple is getting hydrotherapy and will have surgery on his hip as soon as his muscles have strengthened. He still gets to go on puppy sleepovers, so he's a happy camper:

5 p.m. came way too soon and we were sent away for the evening. We went back to the motel and shook off about a pound of red dust and got back in the car for a quick reconnoiter of Kanab (pop. not very many). We did find the Ideabox, but it was disappointing in person. We know exactly how disappointing as the back sliding door was open, so we got to fully inspect the place. Famished, we made our way to Nedra's Too. I'd read about it on the internet and it did not disappoint.

If you ever happen to eat at Nedra's Too, I can recommend the Navajo Taco (taco filling on Indian fry bread), the quesadilla, and the fried ice cream. All good. Wash it down with a Squatter's Chasing Tail golden ale. All the better to enjoy the 1/2 movie memorabilia 1/2 NASCAR decorations.

After a quick stop for breakfast items at the gas station quick mart, we headed back to the motel and were asleep under our fluffy comforters without much delay. Day 1 was a complete success.

Tell all your single friends, you really should have been there.

XO, JamieSmitten