Much Thanks

So much to be thankful for this year. A short list in off-the-top-of-my-head order:

1. Jason. So worth the wait. (Although this additional 5 weeks absence is a bit much!)
2. Healthy Family. I got to see quite a few of them this year and although it does clarify why I'm odd, I wouldn't trade them in for anything. I also expanded my family through Jason and yes, it does clarify why he is odd.
3. Boom and Pullo. The canine odd couple have provided more love and laughs than annoyance -- although Pullo is determined to make it a close call.
4. Loyal Friends. There are so many of you that brighten my life. I hope I do as much for you as you have done for me.
5. New Experiences. New York City, motorcycle dirt drag races, Long Island, the middle pond, bully breed dog show, Gatorama, the James river, kayaking, camping, Coney Island, E-Z Pass.
6. Good Music. Social Distortion, Morrissey, The English Beat, Delta Spirit, Cracker. While I didn't make my goal of one excellent concert a month, I found new bands and got to see old favorites.
7. Good Books. My bookshelves are literally overflowing with books read and to be read. The new Kathy Reichs and John Irving are top on my list after I finish my birthday books.
8. Employment. I complain a lot but I'm happy for the paycheck.
9. Contentment. I didn't have it for years and I can't tell you what a relief it is to have it back.
10. Silliness. Awkwardfamilyphotos, overheardinnewyork, all those little bits of comic relief sprinkled throughout the day.

Tell all your single friends, take stock and say thanks.

XO, JamieSmitten

Promise

ME + HE = FOREVER

Tell all your single friends, worth the wait and the birthday.

XO, JamieSmitten

Coney Island! Best Pizza Ever! Forehead Contusion!

More on that later! Enjoy the pix for now:


Shut down for the season, eh? Well I'll be back!

Notice he didn't mention October.

Yes, I ate a Nathan's hot dog and it was GOOD! Tasted great on top of that bistec a la parilla. And Jamaican meat patty. And Roy Rogers Double R Bar Burger. [Note: All consumed AFTER forehead contusion received. Hmmmmmm]

Need more clothes. COLD!

Anyone have a clue as to what Mozzarepa could be? Me neither -- until I googled it.

Sadly, the live human targets were gone for the season.

Tell all your single friends, New York is the most fun (if you can afford the tolls to get there),


XO, JamieSmitten

Has It Really Been Almost a Month?

Since I blogged? Such a slacker. But it isn't like I've been sitting around. In fact, I have hardly been home for a weekend between the last post and now.

First came the trip to Smith Mountain Lake. Huge. No signs indicating which way to the specific dock where your family and dogs are waiting with the beer. So my advice is to just keep tucking that pontoon boat into each cove and hope for the best.... Watch out for the clowns.

Then, it was off to Ontario for a family wedding. Thankfully, the passport arrived and the flight was not canceled/delayed/overly turbulent. Of course, I DID get pulled for "special screening" at security. I knew having all of my liquids in the correct size bottles in a quart size bag ready for display was not enough juju to ward off the universe's need to have me groped impersonally by a stranger in the name of national security. This time, I was given the option of the grope or the full body scan. I think I shocked the guard when I opted for the scan. The scan was implemented at the Richmond airport right after my last hellish flight in November and caused a bit of an uproar. Namely because the scan shows it all. Right under your clothes. Just like those glasses they used to advertise in the back of comic books -- only it really works. The lucky man who got to see beneath my travel ensemble to the real me was hidden away in a room, but I'm sure he enjoyed it. The wedding was lovely if a bit emotional (for me, anyway). I did NOT ride with the piper, nor did I show mum how to focus my camera apparently. The weather was unseasonably cool, but I still went swimming in the lake because I'm no quitter. I finished my book 10 minutes before I landed back in Richmond, so good timing all around.


For the Labor Day weekend, we finally used the tent we bought early in the summer and went camping on the James river down in southeast Virginia. The tent turned out to be the bargain of the century. We thought it looked like a lot of tent for the money, but had no idea that our voices would echo inside. Sadly, I never even took a picture of it set up. But it would have been hard without a panoramic camera anyway. Eating, drinking, laughing, fishing, frying, kayaking -- with Boom!, swimming, marshmallow roasting, staring into the bonfire. We were even treated to a bonus fireworks display across the river. Lovely, perfect weekend. Especially the Nathan's hotdog grilled on the fire with approximately 1/3 of a bottle of relish. YUM. Makes me wish summer was just starting, instead of ending. I guess I should focus on getting as much kayak time in as I can before it gets cold. Because I'm that sporty.


Tell all your single friends, time flies when you don't stay home.*


XO, JamieSmitten

*It freaking CRAWLS when you are waiting for the love of your life to come home. BOO!

I Heart NYC -- Take 2!

We spent less than 24 hours in NYC thanks to traffic and having too much fun in Connecticut!

However we managed to pack a LOT in:

1. A hotel room ON THE PENTHOUSE LEVEL. Yep. I had a balcony in NYC.
   Sure, it was small, but I had a close-up view of the Empire State building.
   
   
   


2. Two cab rides. Sadly, not the Cash Cab as I had hoped. The cabs have touchscreens that let you map your journey. And commercials. They did swerve around as expected, so that was nice.


3. A jaunt in the rain through Chinatown. Super crowded streets and near-miss eye gouging by umbrellas. AND -- I was propositioned by one of those "come into my back room and buy a purse" people. Ha. Like I'd go shopping when I could be sightseeing.


4. Dim Sum with approximately 372 people. Amazing food and total chaos as new patrons are directed in to their table by flight attendants with head phones. I decided to go with the spirit of the experience and not look too closely at the fillings. I'm fairly certain I managed to avoid chicken, but I definitely consumed all other meats. YUM.


5. A diner meal at midnight. My bagel was not anything special, but the chocolate malted was aces. There was a cashier who looked to be at least 92 and the waiter kept touching us. Completely surreal.

Tell all your single friends, every NYC trip makes you love it more!!

XO, Jamiesmitten

River Fun

Note Boom's complete lack of concern that Pullo may be stuck in the big hole he dug.



Evening on the rocks




Pullo torments Aunt Bonnie

Extreme Love Close-Up!

Tell all your single friends, your ass will feel 100% better if you sit on a towel. Just ask Jason.

XO, JamieSmitten

He Missed Me Too!

He even brought me flowers.

Tell all your single friends, a bouquet is a lovely surprise.


XO, JamieSmitten

So, I've Been, Like, Busy and Stuff

A week in Florida with the family AND Jason. (He still loves me after 8 days of constant companionship and rain)

A new clutch. (Don't ask me about walking home at 7 a.m. with a hangover when the clutch that was *definitely going to last until the parts came in* crapped out)

A raft of stern emails. (Seriously. My friends are either overly concerned with my well-being or overly opinionated. Jury is still out)

A restorative email about the wonderfulness of love. (The Rev RULES)

A return to Boot Camp. (Argh. Push-ups are mostly mastered but who the HELL can do 10 pull ups?)

A loss of boobs. (I didn't notice this one, but OTHERS did)

A pair of homemade socks. (Thank you, Barbie, I LOVE them!)

A first movie at the Byrd with Jason. (I LOVE YOU MAN!)

A dinner with the Amanda gang. (She would have snorted with laughter, several times)

A new puppy for Jason. (Pix to come -- once the little bastard stands still long enough for me to take a pic)

A long conversation with a dear friend. (One of these days, I'm coming to San Antonio!!)

Tell all your single friends, living life leaves little time for blogging Chez Smitten.


XO, JamieSmitten

I Am in Love!

With NYC!!!!!
And Jason

Tell all your single friends, drive it like you stole it.

XO, JamieSmitten

Boy, Are YOU Behind!

Despite my lack of posting which might have made you think nothing was going on, something has been going on. Something has definitely been going on.

Here are some things you have missed in no particular order which may or may not get more detail in future posts:

• New couch is in the living room! Long live the 35 year old predecessor -- which has already been cannibalized in the alley.
• I wii-ed for the first time! I'm aces at trivia and fairly sucky at obstacle courses while riding a yak.
• I SAW MORRISSEY. You'll hear more about that. And the fact that he -- JUST LIKE ME -- has to keep pulling up his jeans because he's a no ass having hottie.
• Boom's knee is a little better. Trying to hop on the new couch isn't helping.
• I've been sucked back into several reality shows and yes, I hate myself.
• I learned that KYA Boot Camp wall squats are the BEST preparation a girl can have for balancing in nasty portajohns.
• I learned the previous lesson because I never learn that Church Hill Irish Festival Guinness and Harp drinking requires pacing and a large bladder.
• I've had sex 3 days in a row. You'll definitely hear more about that.

On that note, I'm going upstairs to extend this unprecedented string of damn fine cardio.

Tell all your single friends, Sex is just as fabulous as Smitten remembered!

XO, JamieSmitten

I've Got Spirit, Yes I Do!

DELTA SPIRIT!

Totally worth the drive to Charlottesville last night. And that hand that touched Dave Wakeling? It has now been held in a two hand clasp by Matt Vasquez, lead hottie for Delta Spirit.





Concert-o-rama 2009 is a freaking success -- and only 2 months in! Best idea I've had in years.



It was a quick drive there with plenty of time to reflect on how nice it was to be on the road -- even if for only 70 miles -- and how glad I was to not be trying to make conversation with couch guy. I had a cup of coffee just in case my body started to rebel, having obediently done 150 lunges at Boot Camp at 5:30 that morning. [Yes, Jeifer, I was counting.]



Mapquest actually provided decent directions to the downtown mall and I took the lazy route and parked in a lot. I really should have parked on the street and spent that $8 on beer, but single woman safety first, right? Short walk across the street and $10 at the door and I'm just in time to order a beer and get a good spot for the opening act.



The Gravity Lounge has a great beer selection, so I started with a Maudite. It just appeals to the french major in me. Plus it has enough % to get the party started. It is an odd little venue -- a bookstore with a stage and beer. Decent enough acoustics although the low ceiling made me really hope there would be no pyrotechnics in the show. I identified all exits just in case.



Dawes was the first band. 4 guys and some excellent songwriting from California. A little more mellow than I usually listen to, but the live show sold me. Nice guitar work and some propulsive drumming, especially on When My Time Comes. I bought the cd and I'm not sorry. These boys make commercial radio crap like The Fray sound overproduced and amateurish. Up with Dawes!!



The second band was Other Lives. They were decent, but didn't hook me. So I used my time wisely by visiting the facilities, checking out the C-ville hipsters, and buying a Magic Hat #9. My beer cap said "It's Good to be Queen." Felt like career advice to me. Duly noted.



The place started to get more crowded and everyone who had been sitting on the floor got up and prepared to feel the spirit. A short equipment change later and we were ready to go.



Delta Spirit took the stage to some polite applause and proceeded to get things moving. Now I'd love to tell you that I remember every song and in which order they made me shake my ass, but gosh, I don't. I liked them all though. They definitely played my favorites from the radio and Letterman Show: People C'Mon, Trashcan, and Streetwalker.



My love is coming I can barely hardly wait

My heart is thumping I can feel it more with every beat

My love is coming I can barely hardly wait around



Mmmmm -- yessssssss. The place is so small that every drum thump or trashcan lid crash (more pleasant than you would think) hit me in the chest with a pleasing vibration. It was definitely a hipster crowd, so those of us dancing to the hypnotic beat were in the minority, but everyone seemed to get it -- the infectious joy of musicians playing together perfectly.



If you're feeling what I'm feeling c'mon

All you soul searching people c'mon



It should have been a sell out and it should have been in a bigger place. Fortunately, this will happen. We just need to spread the word.



The drive home was fairly uneventful, except for the empty gas tank light coming on 20 miles from home. So I stopped at Sheetz (brightly lit for single woman safety --check!) where I learned 2 new things. 1> You can't buy lottery tickets between 11 p.m. and 6 a.m. 2> Pumping gas is quite delightful when the muzak playing over the tinny speakers is Rod Stewart singing "If Ya Want My Body."



Tell all your single friends, support independent music and buy Ode To Sunshine by Delta Spirit. You will not be sorry





XO, JamieSmitten

Nine Days Sober......Not!

Where to begin? With Gilligan and Stripey? With bacon wrapped around dates? With a strange (albeit cute) man on my couch?

We'll start where all good stories start. With the buttery nipples.

Actually, I probably need to give a little background. When I first moved to Richmond, I lived with a bunch of people. It was kind of like having the entire cast of Friends living in one apartment. But break-ups happen, people buy houses, and suddenly the (not even yet contemplating a career as a) Rev and I were on our own -- with a $1000 rent payment. So we advertised and interviewed for potential roommates. I was leaning towards the young, impressionable boys from VCU -- hopefully with a steady stream of equally impressionable friends.

But then we interviewed M. M stood out during her interview because she brought a peppy friend and tried to stab me with a knife. O.K. it was some sort of sleight of hand trick, but the knife did point at and then touch my stomach. Anywho, with this type of entrance, how could we resist? So M moved in with her owl and all was well on Stuart Ave. Peppy girl became DFF, so there you have the players.

Friday night, M came to town and DFF left the West End and we essentially recreated a night from our first year of acquaintance. Some of the trappings are different -- we buy more expensive beer now, we snack on hummus instead of chips, we wear clothes that don't need to be drycleaned to get the smoky bar smell out. But the essentials? That remains the same. We do the girly stuff like use hairspray and assure each other that we are in fact, quite hot -- no "still" about it. We listen to music, we catch up, and we drink buttery nipples.

Well lubricated, we walked over to the bar -- the same bar we always used to go to -- to see a group we always used to see. It was kind of dead at first but it picked up. Helped in no small part by my commitment to dancing, even when nobody else does. Besides, standing up allowed me to meet Gilligan -- an odd man in a Gilligan hat who touched my back every time he passed me. It was kind of creepy, but he looked a little off, so I let it go.

More beer, more dancing. I was thrilled to not be the one who spotted a long-forgotten FWB -- DFF had that honor. His girlfriend was Stripey. It was funny if you were there. Then we found the possibly only normal and good-looking male in the bar and convinced him to dance with us. This being Richmond, he was a friend of a friend of DFF. Richmond is 2 degrees of separation, in case you didn't know.

Lights came up, nobody was ready to stop, so we hot-stepped it over to another bar who firmly refused to serve us. I will attribute this to the late hour as we were clearly a fine looking bunch. Not to be deterred we lurched homeward with the promise of more buttery nipples on our lips. And they were good, although in the morning it appears I had a heavy hand with the schnapps as there is still some Bailey's left. Irksome. There may have been some Morgan and coke. There was definitely some beer.

And just when I was thinking this strange man might warrant a closer look, I slipped. I mixed my party favors. And as M did point out the next morning, "you can't do that, Smitten."

So a short time later, I was on the back porch trying desperately not to coat my Docs with the 3 cherry tomatoes, 5 tostitos, and 4 brownie bites. Thank goodness I don't eat meat, because the bacon-wrapped dates from our first party stop of the night would not have helped anyone in the immediate vicinity of my regurgitation. Thankfully, M lived with me long enough to know that once they dry heaves were done, I could be safely sent to bed. With this on the floor next to me:

When we woke up the next morning, the strange man was gone from the couch, his bedding neatly folded. Well, the bedding and the shower curtain that M had thoughtfully provided as a blanket. Deluxe accommodations, I tell you.

"I totally thought you were going to hook up with him." Sigh. The sad refrain of my life.

I gathered up the empties and carried them out to the recycling bin, where I found a dead bird. I told DFF and she said, "Maybe he ate your puke and it killed him."

Maybe it did.

Everyone was recovered by 2-ish. And I bet we do it again before the year is out. But this time, I'm not mixing my party favors and I'm getting some.

Tell all your single friends, old friends and buttery nipples, don't knock it until you've tried it.

XO, JamieSmitten

Just Hold My Hand While I Come

Dave Wakeling shook my hand -- shut up -- no I won't -- I'm not even kidding, he really did.



2 Tone came to Richmond and Richmond represented. Oh sure, we were old and gray and some of us will be limping for days because no matter how strenuous the KYA Boot Camp walking lunge is, it does NOT compare to two+ hours of skanking. My Doc Martens kept my feet happy, but the knees are another story.



God Bless the English Beat!



I missed the opening act, because, well, I'm like that. Local musicians, decent enough was the word from one of the many co-workers I ran into at the show.


I arrived just in time to see Bad Manners take the stage. [Time for an observation: Ska bands that have been around for 30 years have generally replaced many if not all of the musicians, leaving the lone original frontman to embody everything that band was. This is clearly because ska is hard on the old bones, as lamented above.] In any case Buster Bloodvessel was in fine shape to lead his young band through their paces. Excellent horn section, tight rhythm, and a good set of about 12 songs. [Observation #2: I can't remember set lists to save my life. Possibly because I'm dancing madly and sweatily and possibly because Dave Wakeling shook my hand and all that went before means nothing. If you like concert reviews with actual reference to songs, go to Forgotten Disc Friday and let March to the Sea lead you onward. He's so good at the concert and record review, he gets free tickets.]



Anyway, Bad Manners ripped through a decent set including My Girl Lollipop, Lip Up Fatty, Special Brew, and Skaville UK. Hell -- I remembered way more songs than I thought I would. Crowd jumped and hollered back when directed, which is pretty damn unusual for a Richmond crowd. Usually they are too hip to acknowledge the opening acts and stand with their back to the stage talking loudly whilst gripping their PBR tall boys. But tonight, everyone seemed to be there to actually enjoy the show. I found a small piece of space and proceeded to sweat off my make-up within 3 songs. GOD I LOVE LIVE MUSIC.



I also had a momentary panic when I looked down and realized my genuine, purchased in 1982 at Commander Salamander, English Beat 2 Tone Girl pin was missing from my jacket. Fortunately, the concert gods parted the bodies and I managed to snatch it back from the sticky floor. The pin went safely in my pocket for the English Beat. Well, I say safely, but I did sustain one stab to the tender upper thigh area as the pin came undone. Price of rock and roll, I say.



So Bad Manners finished and the window of opportunity appeared. A straight shot up to the front stage left. I went. [Observation #3: If you concert with me and it is a band I really want to see, you are on your own for liquids and bathroom. I sweat out all fluids and will drink what you bring me, but damn if I'm giving up my spot for a beer. Just so you know.] So I moved up to the second row.



Second row is actually a bit tricky at Toad's Place. The people who walked right to the front as soon as the door opened are against a metal railing. Behind the metal railing is a 4 foot wide raised wooden step. Second row means you have the constant possibility of your energetic dancing dropping you off the raised wooden level and onto the foot of the people behind you. Sorry, pork pie hat guy! I only got you once. I settled in and waited. About 45 minutes, maybe more.



At 11 p.m. the English Beat took the stage. Dave is a wee little fellow with a lovely smile. The current toaster is Antony First Class. He kept the crowd moving and chanting and I do not doubt that we did lose weight as he swore we would. The sax player was hot, hot, hot and if you see me, I'll show you proof on my phone. [Observation #4: I was not the only one who thought he was hot. A random drunk next to me pulled off her bra and flung it at his feet.]



So off they went, starting with Whine and Grine and moving to Stand Down Margaret. Perfect. They played soooo many songs -- they were on for well over an hour and a half. Mirror in the Bathroom, Hands Off She's Mine, Can't Get Used to Losing You, Tears of a Clown, I Confess, Twist & Crawl, Two Swords, and my favorite, Save It For Later. Although picking a favorite seems ridiculous because there wasn't a bad song in the bunch. I've just always been partial to "Just hold my hand while I come.....to a decision on it." We also got some Tenderness which again whipped the crowd into a frenzy.



When it was all over, Dave came off the stage and shook hands with everyone in the front row. I had made it to front row when some people left before the encore. [Observation #5: I will NEVER be the person to leave before the encore. I'm not missing one minute of any encore.]



So there you have it. January concert -- The English Beat w/Bad Manners -- was a massive success. Let's see if February can compare.



Tell all your single friends, I don't know when to stop or when to start!





XO, JamieSmitten

Kanab Day 2: Happy Birthday to Me!

What could possibly get me to set an alarm and get up at 7 a.m. on my birthday?

PUPPY SOCIALIZATION CLASS!

I KNOW!

So my birthday morning dawned bright and warm. Pretty darn warm. Kanab is high desert climate, so nights are cold, but days are sunny and bright. Really bright. This is what the sky looked like every day:

After modeling my fabulous angora scarf lovingly created by Wombat and then scarfing (Ha!) down coffee and doughnut from the lobby, we drove straight to the Dog Town Clinic for puppy socialization class. We were early (still planning for traffic!) and got to see a charming dog earn a lot of treats for being so darn sweet when asking for them:

The soft touch with the treat pouch was our puppy socialization leader Don. He led about ten of us volunteers back to the puppy area after explaining the puppy socialization program. Often, adopted puppies are returned just for being puppies -- curious, unpredictable, and wild. The primary goal of puppy socialization class is to accustom the puppies to being touched, handled, and surrounded by humans. Desensitization to people and their surroundings (umbrellas, loud noises, sudden movements) makes for a well-adjusted pet. Since Best Friends instituted the program, only one puppy has been returned by an adopter.

Suddenly, puppies are being handed out the door and I get to carry one up to the play area. There were four puppies -- survivors of parvo -- named Potter, Berks, Bedford, and Erie. We worked on name recognition, leash walking, and touching. The puppies were clearly precocious veterans of the class at 18 weeks and enjoyed all the attention. I was too busy hugging, but Wombat came through with some great pictures. There just can't be enough puppy love for me:


Don't tell Boom, but there was kissing.


After puppies, we were sent to another set of dog octagons for more walking and socializing. The different puppies were just as lovely as those from the first day. Including Chance who had one up and one down ear, making for a spectacular shadow:

Thoroughly blissed out on puppies and dogs by noon break, we headed over for our second round of $4 vegetarian buffet delight. I believe this was yummy vegetarian pot pie day. We had some time to kill before we visited the horrifying scary bunny sanctuary, so we drove back over to the welcome center to shop at the Best Friends store. Despite a marked lack of magnets and pins (hint to marketing dept!), we managed to drop some coin. These bumper stickers make GREAT gifts:

Then it was back to the bunny haven for the 1 p.m. tour. Except we had our time wrong and the tour wasn't until 2. As fate would have it, Wombat looked sad enough that the caretaker took pity on her and gave us a private tour of the area. Way many rabbits and some freaky looking hamsters too. Or maybe guinea pigs. Honestly, I didn't look too closely. My goal was to get out alive. They actually put us in a big enclosure with loose rabbits. I KNOW! So not right. Despite the sign saying "Warning! Rosemary will bite!" and the caretaker admitting that the rabbits go totally homicidal if you have more than 2 in a pen, Wombat was happy as a clam. She took some excellent pictures of the little death-dealers furry critters:

Having survived THAT ordeal, we left Best Friends and headed out for some sightseeing. The Kane County tourist guide had mentioned a few must see attractions and we found the first one on the road between Best Friends and Kanab. Moqui Cave is one of those roadside attractions that you always want to stop at as a kid, but your parents keep driving. A cave built into a mountain right off the highway? Count me in! The current proprietor is the grandson of the man who bought the cave in the 1950s and turned it first into a bar and then a dancehall. The place was quite successful for many years, but after the bar fights became a regular occurrence, the cave was converted into a tourist attraction.

So how do you get people to pay $4 to see a hole in the wall? GLOW IN THE DARK ROCKS! Yep, that's the clincher. The front part of the cave is a mini museum where the bar used to be. The back part of the cave was cool and sloped downward a bit. As we got further in, the eerie glow of black lights bathed us in an unholy light. Us and a bazillion rocks. I'm scanning a postcard image because it was just too darn odd. Apparently, some rocks light up when you hit them with black light. Kids, I'm pretty sure you can try that at home. Let me know how it works out for you.

On to the gift shop where we bought lots of postcards to commemorate the weirdness of the attraction and found the perfect souvenirs in a sale bowl at the checkout. Now I'm not sure how many of you are aware that Utah is the Beehive state. Wombat wasn't aware, which I discovered as I commented on how much I liked the state highway signs with the beehives.

Wombat said, "Oh, I thought that was a ski cap." Which, without knowing the Beehive state tie-in, was a pretty good guess. So she bought me a beehive charm and I bought her a cow bell charm. Because she likes cows and because I had just received the last beehive charm. Thanks, Wombat!

Having seen all that Moqui Cave had to offer, we headed north again to take a look at the Coral Pink Sand Dunes. A bumpy trip along a road through nowhere and one left turn later, the canyon opened up and we saw several ATV caravans heading towards some pink-ish hills. We found a place to park the car and hiked straight up a sandy dune to see more sandy dunes.

I'm not sure I would call them coral pink, seemed more like brownish tan to me. But darn pretty, all those ripples.

Perfect for some artistic photography. Beware the three-legged tourist!:

The plants were very nice too.

I don't know what kind they are, so don't ask. I DO know that if you want to see the Tiger Beetle, a species found ONLY at Pink Coral Sand Dunes state park, you have to look for their tracks at a specific time of the year:

And don't bother naming your band The Interdunal Swales either. Wombat and I have dibs on that most excellent name.

Despite a fetching ranger with no wedding ring, we decided to return to civilization and prepare for our fancy dinner. A few cows slowed our momentum and got the paparazzi treatment. They didn't seem too concerned.

After a shower and a fresh set of non-doggified clothes, we drove the 1/4 mile from motel to our dining destination, the Rocking V Cafe. If you happen to pass through Kanab when the Rocking V is open, I highly recommend it. Excellent food, charming host, and an art gallery upstairs. We encountered some other Best Friends volunteers (clearly, we all have good taste) and immediately set to determining which drink would suit us best.

Speaking of drinking, we had no problems getting drinks in the restaurants we visited and we did see the liquor store. However, there were no bars. There was a "lounge" in the little town of Fredonia just south of Kanab, but it didn't look promising.

Margaritas! Was that even up for discussion? Although I did move on to beer for my next trick. Have to try those local brews when you can. Dinner was lovely. I had the spicy polenta cakes and Wombat went with the deep dish veggie enchilada. Filling and flavorful. But always room for whiskey bread pudding, eh? Yum.

Having managed to outlast the other patrons (this town goes to bed early, even on a Saturday night), we took a tour of the art gallery upstairs and I managed to impulse shop my way into a lovely picture -- a digitally enhanced photo called "Time Stands Still" -- by Chris Brock. It seemed an appropriate purchase on my birthday and I would have resisted had it not been revealed that the picture was taken in Ireland. (For those of you not in my immediate vicinity, Ireland is my 2009 trip!). So, with all credit and copyright to Chris Brock, the soon to be appearing on my living room wall:

We headed back to the motel and stayed up late talking and figuring out how the world should be and then went to bed. Wombat will say that I fell asleep while she was talking. This is not true. I was resting my eyes while contemplating her deep, deep conversation.

It is like somebody designed my perfect day. [Well, my perfect day without sex.]

Tell all your single friends, spend YOUR birthday in a special place!

XO, JamieSmitten

How I Came to Cop a Feel (during a work event)

[Of course, now that I've typed the post title, I realize this is NOT my first unplanned work touch. I completely forgot about the incident at the Salvation Army volunteer event when I reached for a bike and encountered my co-worker's crotch. Good times.]

So today was the Q4 team-building event. Yes, I realize that my workplace seems like Disneyland to those of you who work for more traditionally structured companies. Do you begrudge me one 1/2 day of fun per quarter when I spend an hour a month in therapy trying to keep my sanity intact despite being surrounded by ruthless self-promoters? I didn't think so.

Today was lunch at Maggiano's and bowling. I dislike chain restaurants and the amount of food consumed and wasted at Maggiano's is staggering. The tiramisu is pretty good though.

So, we finish our suburban munchfest and head to the bowling alley and grab lanes by pre-assigned team. Having won the Best Team Name contest (yes, EVERYTHING is a contest at my company) with the plucked-from-Google "I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter," our team quickly set to proving our name appropriate. But hey, it's just for fun right?

After the first game of "traditional" bowling -- for which I won the prize for worst score -- HooBoy! -- we moved to the second game where each frame required a different bowling style: granny, eyes closed, seated, backwards, skipping, etc. And that's where the fun began.

One of the frames was "bowl between someone's legs." Yep, didn't think that was coming, did you? We selected our tallest team member and he graciously assumed a wide legged stance at the top of the lane. [I'll digress here to mention that this co-worker is hot. Tall, muscular thighs that would make you think he played hockey, dark, handsome. Tasty. Married.]

I start my approach, trying not to focus on the firm and high buttocks in front of me. I go low and aim straight down the line, releasing the ball softly. Then I follow through. With my hand. Right into his thigh. A gentle graze, fortunately.

His only comment? "Well I didn't expect that." Me neither. Please, sir, may I have another? Sadly, he did not return the favor when he bowled between my legs.

Tell all your single friends, bowling is not sexy.


XO, JamieSmitten

Happy Birthday DFF!

Determined Friend Forever is having a birthday today! She will likely celebrate with pale ale and some Hannah Montana rockin' tunes.

And some Oh Jamie! bars, but shhhhh! That's a surprise!

Tell all your single friends, blow 'em if you've got 'em! (Birthday candles, silly!)

XO, JamieSmitten

Kanab, Utah! The Greatest Earth on Show!

No, I'm not that punny -- Kanab is:

If you ever go to Kanab, stay at Quail Park Lodge. From our frazzled 10 p.m. arrival when we couldn't get the key to open the door (solution: turn it) to the friendly chat in the morning when I retrieved coffee and doughnuts from the office, our stay was great. Big fluffy comforters, super fancy robes, and the ability to have pet sleepovers from Best Friends (if you don't stay in our deluxe-newly-renovated-suite). Loved it. I totally forgot to take a picture, but it was as cute as the website looks.

We slept like logs Thursday night -- hardly surprising -- but managed to get up when the evil alarm went off because PUPPIES WERE WAITING! We had to be at Best Friends at 8:30 a.m. for the video before the tour before the volunteering and there was no way I was going to be late. So I allowed for traffic. In the 7 miles between our motel and the turn-off from route 89. We passed one car. Score one for the small town.

Of course it was a good thing we had time because I could hardly drive for looking at the breathtaking -- and I don't bandy that word around, people -- scenery that we had totally missed during our night time arrival. Judge for yourself:

I KNOW. Flipping MAJESTIC. And I usually only say that about HRH Queen Elizabeth. We were still oohing and aahing three days later as we left that beautiful place. I've been out west before and I've even been camping in Zion National Park (about 40 miles away), but Kanab is just smack in the middle of major rock loveliness. Go ahead, have another:

But we weren't there for scenery, we were there for the animals. And boy, did they deliver. For those of you who are link-phobic and have thus avoided all the chances to go read the Best Friends website instead of my random thoughts, Best Friends Animal Society is a place unlike any other. Twenty-four years ago, some animal-loving friends bought land in Angel Canyon and formed an animal sanctuary from which no animal would ever be turned away. Kindness to animals builds a better world for all of us. Believe it. From their No More Homeless Pets campaign to disaster animal rescue to education and support, they help rescue groups and animals all over the world. Good stuff.

We began with a guided tour of the sanctuary. Large vans with bench seats. Wombat and I grabbed the way, way back, because we were in fact the coolest kids on the bus. The ladies in front of us were from Virginia, of course. We are everywhere. The ride was really bumpy but most excellent for pointing out interesting scenery and the inner workings of the various different animal areas. First animal stop with touching was the home for cats with feline leukemia. The house itself is part cat fantasy land and part tribute to a longtime donor whose husband built the house after his wife died without fulfilling her dream to live near Best Friends and volunteer with the cats every day. The cats were enjoying the sunshine and the love and attention from their personal caregiver. Wombat caught me petting one little sweetie. Don't tell Boom:

We drove past Feathered Friends -- thank goodness, no need to see any birds, thank you very much -- and past the wild turkeys that were mooching scattered feed around the buildings. Then we head to Dogtown Heights and got to see how they manage to keep so many dogs healthy and happy. All the dogs had indoor rooms with beds and blankets and then full outdoor play areas that were almost as big as my backyard. Some dogs had buddies, others were on their own. All of them were eager to see who had pulled up in the van. The dog caregivers were by and large a truly friendly and happy group of people who were quick to share stories about their animals charges. We couldn't wait to get started volunteering!

Back to the front desk for paperwork and name tags and then off to the cafeteria for a splendid $4 vegetarian buffet. Yum. A little windy that first day, but a view to die for:

Full of healthy vegetables, grains, and fruit, Wombat and I headed over to the Clinic for our next volunteer orientation. We watched a short film about dog handling (don't hug the dogs? we'll see about that) and a possible sighting of John Garcia, hottie animal trainer from the National Geographic show Dogtown, and we were sent off with a map to our first destination: The Fairway.

Each Dogtown Heights area has two octagons of dogs, two caregivers, and about 40-45 dogs. I don't know if they lost a lot of volunteers in the past, but when they send you out dogwalking now, you are pointed to the path for your building. The paths are red sandy and outlined in rocks and meander up and down and around, with a bench in the middle for a water break and a cuddle. We broke the no-hug rule with the first set of dogs. I also discovered that these dogs have not developed Boom's patience with extended picture-taking, so I got a lot of backs of heads. Still cute:

Some of the dogs walked beautifully on their leashes. Others were a little more stubborn. One particular hound dog named Yankee was in a class all by himself. While we were walking the path, a large mule deer buck (is that redundant?) crashed through the brush several yards away. Yankee sat down and howled, clearly heeding his ancestry. He would not move for love, money, or treats. He didn't even drag. So Wombat carried him back to his room. I wish I had taken a picture, because it was a sight: Yankee's sense of outrage and Wombat's determination to get that dog home. Wombat did get a picture of him doing his best sit and howl:

More dogs, more cuddling. It was so relaxing and so wonderful and so clearly, how life was meant to be. I quickly fell in love with Dozer. Rescued from a pitbull breeding operation, Dozer had clearly been abused. Now, he just wants to lie next to you and get all the petting he can. I hope a special somebody takes him home soon:

Wombat was busy falling in love with Ripple, a young chesapeake bay retriever with a dislocated hip. Ripple is getting hydrotherapy and will have surgery on his hip as soon as his muscles have strengthened. He still gets to go on puppy sleepovers, so he's a happy camper:

5 p.m. came way too soon and we were sent away for the evening. We went back to the motel and shook off about a pound of red dust and got back in the car for a quick reconnoiter of Kanab (pop. not very many). We did find the Ideabox, but it was disappointing in person. We know exactly how disappointing as the back sliding door was open, so we got to fully inspect the place. Famished, we made our way to Nedra's Too. I'd read about it on the internet and it did not disappoint.

If you ever happen to eat at Nedra's Too, I can recommend the Navajo Taco (taco filling on Indian fry bread), the quesadilla, and the fried ice cream. All good. Wash it down with a Squatter's Chasing Tail golden ale. All the better to enjoy the 1/2 movie memorabilia 1/2 NASCAR decorations.

After a quick stop for breakfast items at the gas station quick mart, we headed back to the motel and were asleep under our fluffy comforters without much delay. Day 1 was a complete success.

Tell all your single friends, you really should have been there.

XO, JamieSmitten