Tonight, Boom and I were heading out for our evening stroll and poop (do I need to clarify that only Boom participates in the second? hope not) and we were confronted with the world's largest bug on the screen door. I don't mind bugs, they are way more manageable than mice. So, I'm standing there trying to figure out if it is a really big cricket, or a really fat and short preying mantis, and if either of those can fly, when Neighbor John gets home from work. He inquires what I'm doing, I explain, and he comes over to investigate.
Neighbor John is of the opinion that it is a big cricket. He touches the back end of super bug and it rises up (one question answered!) and whirs away. Where did it go? I say looking around. Even Boom seems disconcerted. Oh well, gone now. So I turn my attention to the huge sheath of flowers in Neighbor John's arms. Peach roses, those dark reddish things I never remember the names of, and some pretty berry thingies. (I live next to a floral decorator, clearly, I'm not one.) I remark how pretty, Neighbor John says have them, I demur, and then of course, take them. This girl knows when she needs a little beauty in her life. So, I carry them in to the kitchen and head out for a walk, having been assured they can wait that long to be put in water.
Nice walk, usual bunch of suburbanites trying to parallel park, same old, same old. Strolling, pooping, all accomplished as expected. Home and into the kitchen to take a stab at arranging the flowers in a semblance of order. I trim stems, I sniff roses, I turn around to get a vase from above the cabinets behind me.
And there he is -- super bug. Clearly, his leap to freedom was to the lush foliage 10 inches away. I mentally revise my opinion of his flying ability. Super bug is now roaming the ceiling of my kitchen. He had plenty of time to crawl out of the bouquet, up the cabinets and roam around. Now, he's directly above the vase I need. Like so:
I consider my options. Look for a broom or mop or something to flick him down and then sweep him out the door? Too risky -- all manner of things could be broken when the brooms start flailing. Leave super bug alone and hope he makes his way peaceably down to ground level. Yep, I went with option 2. Plus, when I got a chair to retrieve the vase closest to him, he clearly trembled, so not thinking he's a big threat at the moment.
So, the flowers are in the vase and super bug is in the kitchen. Nature, gotta love it!
Tell all your single friends, Flowers are ALWAYS welcome!
XO, JamieSmitten
5 comments:
My method for dealing with big scary 6 (or 8) legged beasties that I'm certain will eat me in my sleep involves duct tape and a broom-handle.
I make a circle of duct tape with sticky-side out, affix it lightly to the broom handle, and then attempt to affix it to the beast. Once I'm confident the beast is secure on the duct tape, I remove it from the wall and put it in the trash.
Very effective against hornets, who are extremely resistant to brooms.
That thing looks like it might eat you.
Crickets are lucky! Guess that means you have super-luck. You just have to let him live since he looks like Alastair could saddle and ride him around. I'd come over and shoot him but he's lucky and my gun freaks you out.
Maybe try the bucket and paper trick: slap a bucket over him and slide a piece of paper underneath the bucket. Then move the whole shebang outside, lift the bucket, and let Hopper fly free.
Super bug is nowhere to be found. I have a feeling there will be an unpleasant carcass discovery the next time I retrieve a cookbook from the top shelf.....
Sorry to disappoint, super bug is a grasshopper or possibly a locust. Definitely not a cricket. I lived with crickets hopping around the house for all my teenage years; food for my brother's menagerie often got loose. Occasionally the frogs got loose too, but that's another story. . .
well... they say you learn something new everyday and I certaintly learned a new trick today. I like the idea about duct tape and the broom, I'll have to try that the next time I have a "critter" to deal with. So, how about that - I looked at your blog and I have to say that it's pretty entertaining. Of course, should I expect anything else from you?
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