Halloweens Past

I passed Wonder Woman on the street today and realized that Halloween is indeed upon us. I haven't been thinking about it much as I'm leaving on vacation that day and nobody is having a party this year.

My opinion on Halloween varies with the year. Sometimes it is completely fun and other times it just seems like I'm providing candy crack to the neighborhood. Thanks to a lovely card from Val and Aimless, I'm feeling it this year. So since I won't be dressing up this year, I dug up a few pictures from Halloweens past.



I'm the cute bunny on the right. Actually, I look like an escapee from a lab that PETA will shortly be raiding. What's up with my crumpled ears? And this was BEFORE we went trick or treating. Can you imagine how bedraggled I looked after slogging my plastic pumpkin up and down the streets? I don't think this was the year my sister "lost" me around the corner from the house, but then again, I've blocked out most of that memory.

There were many other costumes throughout childhood: gypsy, scarecrow, TV (don't ask), gypsy (the 70s were a good time to raid your mum's wardrobe for hoop earrings). No photos in my collection, but I'm sure they were taken.

I returned to the bunny theme for a Halloween party my senior year of high school. Mike's family had a huge piece of land in the middle of Fairfax and they threw a fabulous Halloween party complete with a hayride around the backyard. Younger brothers would jump out and scare the pants off you as the wagon lurched around in the dark. I was just glad to make it to the party as I had locked my keys in the car when I stopped for gas. This was back in the days when the gas station attendant would run your gas card on a little machine and then hand you the carbon to sign. I ran inside to pay and automatically locked the door. With the car running. Whilst wearing a leotard and bunny ears. (I had matured into an "adult" bunny look). Once the mechanics finished laughing, they quickly popped the door lock and had me back on the road. Again, no pictures in my possession.


I learned another valuable lesson that night: don't make out with a boy when you are wearing a black make-up bunny nose. Let's just say, it was hard to explain how my nose ended up all over his face. To his girlfriend.


Next picture I found was from a university Halloween party my freshman year. Three blind mice was our choice and we were quite blind with drink by the end of the night. Note the yarn tails and socks on our hands. (Yes, I'm tragic when it comes to special effects. For real Halloween makeup magic, visit Manda.) I remember ditching the socks quickly as it made beer holding difficult. I'm on the left, in case you were confused.

I remember other Halloween parties at university, but no pictures survived. The next picture I found was from 1997 give or take a year. My theme was Dominatrix, although if truth be told, I just felt like being a little saucy that year. It was during the blonde years and I was still testing out that "more fun" theory. Sadly, I ended up babysitting a roommate on ecstasy and didn't really get to give that costume the night it deserved. Plus, it turned out to be very difficult to drive with my hair standing 10 inches up from my head. If you look closely, you can see my Caesar standing behind me.

The following year, Wombat came to town and much more fun was had. I decided to balance the naughty of the previous year with a little nice. Clearly, catholic school girl was the only choice. Interestingly, I got way more attention in this costume. (Scott -- I've still got the kilt. I'm just saying.) Wombat was wearing a wig, so I don't think she'll kill me for posting her picture.

Clearly, I take a lot of pictures in the foyer. Must expand my repertoire.


Tell all your single friends, don't forget to take a picture this Halloween!!


XO, JamieSmitten

Someone's Always Someone Else's One*

*from The One by the Foo Fighters

I did it. I finally finished my Shuffleathon 2007 mixtape cd. Oh the agony. Oh the futility of trying to narrow down my favorite songs into something coherent, meaningful, and enjoyable, for a total stranger.

All I know about my unsuspecting Recipient is that she is an Australian now living in the UK.

So clearly, she doesn't need my favorite Hoodoo Guru/Jet/Clash/Fratellis songs. She's got those angles covered. Fine -- American music.

Brief foray into -- North American? Throw in some north of the border Hot Hot Heat?

No, let's not get distracted. We have a country of origin. Check.

Now, how about a theme..... Love? Makes the world go 'round. Can I find a song from each of my favorite artists that deals with that weighty subject? Probably, but is it the best song I could pick? What if my selection forever sours Recipient on my all time favorite band ever, Cracker? TOO MUCH PRESSURE.

So, I'll just pick my favorite song from my favorite American artists. Sure, that narrows it down. To about a zillion songs.

Must dig deeper....

I've got it! American bands that I have seen in concert! That narrows it down some more and suddenly, I'm able to make some decisions.

So, my Shuffleathon CD will go to the post office on Saturday containing 15 songs (barring tomorrow's final review) from bands I've seen in concert (except for Rancid, but I did see Tim Armstrong with the Transplants, so I'm calling that a wash) that sort of deal with love (unless there was a better song) and make me happy.

I'll post the link to recipient's review when available. Hopefully, she's happy to be my one.

Tell all your single friends, the mixtape lives on!

XO, JamieSmitten

Googleganger Anybody?

The morning news show was talking about Googlegangers today -- the person or persons who share your name and whom you locate when you Google yourself. A Doppelganger for the internet age.

My Googleganger is a football player in the Highland League in Scotland. Sadly, he'll never know about me because I don't appear to be Google worthy. On a juicier note, using my first and middle name nets me a porn star Googleganger.

What did you get?


Tell all your single friends, there may be another you out there.

XO, JamieSmitten

Any Last Requests?

I don't know if this is fall out from my afternoon spent next to the incarcerated or from the really good dinner I just had at Athens restaurant, but I'm thinking about my last meal.

Note: If I AM on death row, I was framed. Or, it was justifiable homicide because I murdered a co-worker for saying, "we need to find some synergies and robustify our processes" (and pronounced it "praw-ses-zees" like making it more syllables means he's smart).

But just in case, framed or not, I want that last meal to be good:

Platanos con crema
Black beans and rice
2 butter tarts (homemade, not store bought)
and a pitcher of Perpetual Motions

No vegetables, but I'm guessing that fiber consumption won't be uppermost in my mind.

So, what do you desire for YOUR last repast? I wasn't going to name names, but my Blushman threw down the gauntlet with his post today, so I'm asking. Pretty please, post your last meal in a comment. Who knows? I might even make it for you!

I would love to hear from (in alphabetical order because this is supposed to be a democracy):

Ahamos
Aimless
Connie
CrankyOldBastard
Evelyn
Manda
Mum
My Blush, Aeleope
Patty
Stephano
Val
Wombat

And of course, Anonymous

Tell all your single friends, JamieSmitten is morbidly curious about your culinary cravings.


XO, JamieSmitten

Kids -- Learn From My Mistake!

I drive quickly. Often. Driving being one of the things I love to do. Sometimes, I just like to get there quickly.

4 months ago, I got a ticket for trying to get home too quickly. I wasn't really late, just zoned out on a four lane divided road through an industrial park that some government genius deemed worthy of a 35 limit. Sigh. Happily, I received the ticket before the new laws were enacted which added a civil penalty to all traffic infractions of Virginia drivers. But still -- it was a $190 slap on the wrist -- and I just don't have that kind of money lying around.

Today I went to traffic court, determined to smile, wheedle, and possibly weasel my way into a lower fine, a pat on the wrist, heck, traffic school. 5 hours later, I walked out dehydrated, starved, demoralized, with a caffeine withdrawal headache the size of Cleveland. I also had $116 less in the bank. But oh what a display of humanity! Bear in mind, I worked in Las Vegas, so I've seen me some humanity.

In no particular order, I saw:

• A mullet. No, not an ironic mullet. A true lifestyle commitment. Its owner was there because he drove his buddy's car with expired plates to the sheriff's office on an errand for another friend despite the fact that his license was expired. He got a fine and 55 days in jail -- to be served on consecutive weekends, 48 hours at a time, until done.


• Hurley -- the dude from Lost. Well, at the very least, his little brother. Hurley2 became an example for everyone as he had been to traffic school twice, but was appearing today for his fifth speeding ticket. The fourth was received on the way home from traffic school. He got the big fine. His mama was not happy. Neither were the rest of us, having just realized that traffic school wasn't going to be the easy out for any of us.


• Creepy bible-reading man. He looked a bit like Jackie Earle Hailey in his big comeback movie, Little Children. He sat next to me for 2 hours mainlining cinnamon gum and reading Timothy. Don't know a thing about that book of the bible, but he sure made it last for the full 2 hours. Alphabetically, he was screwed and still sitting there when I got my wrist slap and beat feet.


• Harold Ramis. Again, not really HR, but certainly a close blood relative. HR claimed that the program director for ASAP (Alcohol Safety Awareness Program -- see? I was paying attention!) told him that he didn't need to do the program if he never wanted to get his driver's license back. His offense was driving to the liquor store, downing a pint in the parking lot, and then driving home. Apparently, he now cabs to the liquor store to drink in the parking lot. They cuffed him. Not sure where he went.


• Batty old lady. She didn't answer one of the judge's questions correctly, but she got off with no charges. Great, I might be a speeder, but at least I'm sane.


• 2 inmates from the jail -- complete with waist chains and ankle chains. One of them was so cold his teeth were chattering. He got a referral to a psychiatrist to determine if he knew why he was in jail. The other inmate had a whole host of issues -- "malicious wounding" being the charge bandied about most. He was losing his house because he'd been in jail for 55 days and hadn't made a payment in months. Did I mention these two were sitting directly in front of me?


• Paris Wannabe. She was forced to surrender her license to the court, but will have all charges removed from her record in one year if she remains alcohol and drug free during that time. Being only seventeen, you'd think that would be manageable. Daddy's lawyer did all the talking, while Princess did all the pouting. Clearly, reckless endangerment under the influence while underage is just, like, so annoying already.

Drug convictions, alcohol counseling, multiple DUIs, and speed, speed, speed. We were all sinners in one way or another. But at least I found out where all the men in this town are on the weekend. In jail, doing time.

Tell all your single friends, if speed doesn't kill you, general district court will.

XO, JamieSmitten

Boom and Zeus

More pictures of our weekend with Zeusy Papoosey.

Boom was not aware that his outside lounge was built for two.

Note the wet patch in front of Boom's ear -- Zeus pulled this particular patch of fur when he wanted attention

Demonic puppy? Nah -- he just plays one on Blogger......

Nature -- with extra nature free of charge!

My Neighbor John (father of Zeus) sometimes helps out a florist friend with deliveries or floral designs near the holidays. This is lovely, because I often receive bouquets of fabulous flowers for no reason at all. Can't tell you what it does for a girl's mood to get flowers out of the blue.


Tonight, Boom and I were heading out for our evening stroll and poop (do I need to clarify that only Boom participates in the second? hope not) and we were confronted with the world's largest bug on the screen door. I don't mind bugs, they are way more manageable than mice. So, I'm standing there trying to figure out if it is a really big cricket, or a really fat and short preying mantis, and if either of those can fly, when Neighbor John gets home from work. He inquires what I'm doing, I explain, and he comes over to investigate.


Neighbor John is of the opinion that it is a big cricket. He touches the back end of super bug and it rises up (one question answered!) and whirs away. Where did it go? I say looking around. Even Boom seems disconcerted. Oh well, gone now. So I turn my attention to the huge sheath of flowers in Neighbor John's arms. Peach roses, those dark reddish things I never remember the names of, and some pretty berry thingies. (I live next to a floral decorator, clearly, I'm not one.) I remark how pretty, Neighbor John says have them, I demur, and then of course, take them. This girl knows when she needs a little beauty in her life. So, I carry them in to the kitchen and head out for a walk, having been assured they can wait that long to be put in water.


Nice walk, usual bunch of suburbanites trying to parallel park, same old, same old. Strolling, pooping, all accomplished as expected. Home and into the kitchen to take a stab at arranging the flowers in a semblance of order. I trim stems, I sniff roses, I turn around to get a vase from above the cabinets behind me.









And there he is -- super bug. Clearly, his leap to freedom was to the lush foliage 10 inches away. I mentally revise my opinion of his flying ability. Super bug is now roaming the ceiling of my kitchen. He had plenty of time to crawl out of the bouquet, up the cabinets and roam around. Now, he's directly above the vase I need. Like so:






I consider my options. Look for a broom or mop or something to flick him down and then sweep him out the door? Too risky -- all manner of things could be broken when the brooms start flailing. Leave super bug alone and hope he makes his way peaceably down to ground level. Yep, I went with option 2. Plus, when I got a chair to retrieve the vase closest to him, he clearly trembled, so not thinking he's a big threat at the moment.


So, the flowers are in the vase and super bug is in the kitchen. Nature, gotta love it!

Tell all your single friends, Flowers are ALWAYS welcome!

XO, JamieSmitten

Happy Thanksgiving!

Never did feel much affinity for Columbus, so I'll go with the Canadian holiday today. No shortage of things to be thankful for either.

All Right Now (baby, it's a-all right, now)

I had to Google "lyrics all right now" to find out who sang that song. That's what kind of week I've had. All extraneous facts have been relegated to the attic storage of my brain. Still there, if I'm willing to climb a few flights. Bad Company, in case you've had the same week.

The good news is that I am all right. Now.

* * * * *

Helping to make everything rosy, puppy Zeus has arrived for his 5 day stay. He is a very good natured puppy although Boom might dispute that when his extremities, neck, and face are being chewed vigorously. And when Zeus sleeps, it is absolute. Sprawled out, snoring with vigor, and paws paddling away. I could live without the 5 a.m. wake up call, but that's a small price to pay for this much puppy love.





Dig those crazy mismatched eyes!




Boom and Zeus don't stand still for nobody!



Chewing on a bone instead of on Boom

* * * * *

Four new cds have been purchased as "necessities" for the making of my Shuffleathon cd. No progress on assembling the cd though. I made the mistake of reading some of the reviews from the previous Shuffleathon and now I've got creation anxiety. Ah well, it will be a slice of smitten and how can that be wrong?

* * * * *

Finally, do yourself a favor and read about crafty buns here. Who knew my Blush had such talent in his nether regions? Who knew I'd ever be able to slip 'nether regions' into a post?

I did.



Tell all your single friends, JamieSmitten is smiling again.


XO, JamieSmitten

Shuffleathon 2007

There is a price to pay for wandering aimlessly around the blogsphere: a mix tape. For you kids out there, a compilation cd. I stumbled across Shuffleathon 2007 here and on a whim, signed up! (Technically, I convinced Wombat to sign up and then she forced me to follow suit.) But here I am, I've received my recipient's information (can't tell you details, SwissToni frowns upon that sort of thing), and I've already created and rejected 3 lists.

I've also realized that I can't find half the songs I know are in my laptop as they are on my Zen and couldn't have made that voyage immaculately. So, while I spend time at work building the *perfect* playlist of 12 songs, I'm dreading the thought of having to go home, get all those cds, and load them into a new, clearly labeled folder.

Plus I've already ordered one cd and will probably have to buy a few more to enable my vision. Not what I should be doing in light of the lost cash fiasco. Sigh.

However -- I CAN'T WAIT to receive my cd in the mail. It will be just like Christmas!

Things I Adore, Things I Abhor

[Yep, I'm doing this again. Nope, I'm not putting links to previous TIA/TIA. Too cranky.]



5 Things I Adore Today:

• Free cherry tomatoes! (I "liberated'" them from Neighbor John)


• A cool breeze (finally, dog walking without the sweat)


• Fluffy, non-itchy dog fur (looks like Boom's new food is working. Sadly, his fart incidence is on the rise)


• This blog (amazing pictures and a chance to lire en francais)


• This interpretation of Pachelbel's Canon on guitar (get hooked on the classics, kids!)

5 Things I Abhor Today:

• Bad Irish accents (I'm talking about you, new thug guy on Heroes)


• Lost wallets (my fault, I know. Hate the loss, not the loser)


• Mondays (I work for the Man)


• Mondays (felt like a twofer)


• Absolut New Orleans (I'm not much of a vodka fan, but who seriously thought mango and black pepper was a nice thing to do to drinkers trying to support Gulf Coast relief efforts?)

Hmmmmmmm. The lost wallet really annoyed me (DMV on a Saturday anyone?) but I'm getting over it. I think Adore wins, but only by a Boom-length tail.